Life constantly offers us the opportunities to learn the most important lessens…including the ultimate lessen of life: letting go. Funny thing is, it does not matter whether we learn it or not, we all face “letting go” with its various shapes and forms, losses, good/bad times, insults or hurts, worries or heartaches, thoughts or emotions etc… including the end of one’s life…and the letting go of life itself!
For The Two Whos, we often take deliberate effort to practice “letting go,” but often fail, especially on the ‘heavy ones’. Like weight lifting, lifting a 5 pounder does not mean we can automatically lift a 15 pounder. So failing is just a way to grow, or so that’s how Yun thinks of it to offer herself some encouragement. However, sometimes, letting go of something is truly hard!
It was a month ago. One day, Yun was introduced to a person. As she extended her hand to say, “Nice to meet you!”, the person did not acknowledge her friendly gesture and walked away. Her internal emotional system has never been shocked like this before. Her senses were in disbelief and did not know how to react. A day later, she realized how rude she was treated and what an insult was bestowed onto h er . She started to feel the hurt, disgust and hate. After a month now , Yun is still upset when she thinks about this incident.
So, Yun tries hard to let go the thought of being treated rudely and the feeling of disgust and hate. ‘Knowing what to do’ is very different from ‘doing it’. Things are getting in the way. Her memory teases her and does not let her forget the experience. Her intellect eludes her with the wisdom of forgiveness, humor and understanding, and her thoughts cheat her thinking she is at ease and in fact she is not… But she really wants to ‘let this incident go’ into a waste land. She does not want to chew on her anger any more.
One day, during a conversation with her son at soccer practice, she said to him, “Just practice for the sake of practice, and see what happens.” “Practice for the sake of practice” is a quote from one of her favorite books, “Mastery” by George Leonard. It suddenly occurred to her that this it is exactly what she needs to do: practice the art of letting go and the detachment from her anger….and not worry about what other people think of her.
Yun is no longer going to try to let go…. rather she will just practice letting go. The heavy burden of TRYING to “let go” the hurt feelings has lifted. Amazingly, the incident is no longer a thing that troubles her; rather, it has faded into the background noise of life’s things.
“Letting go” is still a work in process…happily. Cece adds that sometimes she is not willing to let go, but she has learned that sometimes she needs to be willing to be willing to let go….it is never good for her to chew on her anger and resentment.
“Bye for Now” from The Two Whos