A cocoon is a safe place for transformation.  If you think about it, the caterpillar hangs upside down, inside the cocoon.  It hangs  from a branch and is free to dangle in the wind no matter how turbulent it might be. It hangs  by a thread  for a long time.  What we do not see is the nurturing and growth that is going on, even in the complete darkness  inside.

When the cocoon finally opens up and the butterfly begins to emerge, one drop of blood is let go.  This is symbolic of the pain… death to being … as once known …and changes that had to occur.

This is the work of transformation…an  essential part of the cycle of life that enables generation after  generation of beautiful butterflies  to come into shape and form.  Cocoons  are  a symbol of life, death and rebirth.  For  Cece and Yun  the cocoon  is a symbol of family and friends that offer a safe heaven for us to be who we are.

If we are lucky, we have a family and friends who allow, support and nurture  us in this  “cocooning” process.  They   love us  and wrap us up in the millions of silky threads that create its  stable frame work. When we are hanging upside down, and are hanging on by a thread, we feel the support of those millions of silky threads of love helping us to stabilize.

And so, as Yun is visiting her parents  and family in California, she is thinking about this  cocoon of love!

When some of  Yun’s  well intended friends heard that she would be with her parents for 2 weeks, they said, “Wow, that’s nice. Enjoy!  But I know how it goes sometimes visiting family, so  take care of yourself.”   Yun understood  what they meant… family ties and family disputes go hand in hand sometimes.

However, for Yun, there is no family like the family her mom and dad and her culture have created.   Even with all the flaws in it….the dramas and the comedies… the family is a safe haven.   The moment she enters the door where her mom and dad are, she is a child again.   She is taken care of  and worry free,  and it is all OK.   When Cece checked in to see if Yun had arrived OK,  Yun’s response was,  “It is so wonderful to see my parents smiling and to see the kids screaming for joy!”  Cece  said,  “It sounds like a cocoon of love!”  It is always a wonderful reunion and a wonderful return to the comfort and protection of “home.”

This  cocoon started being woven many years ago  when her mom and dad endured hunger during the trying years of China…. so the kids could eat…and then when the young sisters lent  hands to each other to help their mom and dad in the hard times…and then when they saw their mom and dad and then the families around them argue and then  unite over and over. It was the beginnings of the weaving of the  cocoon of love….into a  safe haven.  Thread after thread was woven in.

Today, the weaving continues.   Her mom and dad still take care of everyone in their own way after 50 years.   Everyone can still argue, even in loud voices if they want because they know they  are loved.  They still pass food and tea around and even come all the way to your computer desk!    The kids are still allowed to make a mess or a loud noise, to speak their ‘irrational’ reasons and be heard seriously. Best  of all, everyone is still allowed to develop and transform and  become who they are meant to be…from caterpillar to beautiful butterfly!  They are allowed to be in the erratic period of underground growth and darkness… they can be sometimes moody; sometimes happy; sometimes lazy and sometimes busy; sometimes nice and sometimes mean.

The cocoon of love is a safe place created and held by mom and dad, their parents, and their parents’ parents.   Yun hopes that this safe  haven is a memory imprinted in her children’s  hearts and souls  and that in the future,  they can pass on this cocoon of love to their own children

“Bye for Now” from The Two Whos

Note:  The Two Whos are taking a writing break this morning and this is a re-post of a  popular post.

Inspired by Einstein: “Make things simple not simpler.”

One day, Yun says to Cece:

” For many years, through many relationship dramas, I have come to believe a phrase I heard: “love is not enough” for a relationship.  We need compatibility in all areas: social economical, physical, emotional, mental, educational, personality, values,…  Whatever you want you can name.

We tend to organize human relationships like a engineering project with various “mechanical” parts.  It is almost like  one needs a spread sheet to track all the parts for the purpose of decision making.  No wonder relationships and love have become very complicated.  NO wonder relationship dramas are everywhere.

The most loving and truthful relationships I have experienced are with  people that are very different from me.  We mostly do not agree with one another, we often engage in heated arguments, we do not always share the same values and ideas about life.   We definitely have different styles of doing things.  But I  feel love and being loved no matter what.  Relationships in this case, are very simple!

Well, they are my families:  my sisters and my parents.  In Chinese, there is a saying: “Blood is thicker than water.” Cece says  we have this saying  too!   I think we can learn something from these natural loving and truthful relationships:

First, unconditional commitment to the relationship:  There is no distractions of the “alternatives”.  So, the focus is always on how to love  and how to make the relationship better.

Second, unconditional love: There is no criteria of “should I love them or not”, and why.  I just love them….love is just an action. Very simple, period!

Third, unconditional acceptance:  I have no demand on them to become someone different. I do not fight to change them.  Our energies  are focused on being in relationship…

What if a couple’s romantic relationship can cultivate such intrinsic quality to it? What if everyone in a  love relationship can make the “unconditional” a daily practice?  Maybe relationships will be simple and peaceful.

Do you think I am too idealistic? “   Yun asks Cece.

Cece is thinking that Yun’s  ”Happy Project” has gone off the deep edge!   What if the relationship cannot be peaceful and happy?  Perhaps you want happiness and peace, and the other wants raging drama?  Then what?  How does the “Happiness Project” handle this?   Cece works with those who are deeply troubled. Cece has seen children tortured and used..violence and much more. We can just look out our front  doors and see gang violence and blood letting .   It is hard to love in these situations. 

My intention to love and accept and forgive could be met with anger and aggression, lies and a made up reality.  My attempts at reconcilliation could be met with sarcasm and distrust.  So, how does the “Happy Project” fit in here? 

 Perhaps  loving people from afar would work…or loving the higher potential in a person will work…but sometimes love is not enough.  Sometimes you cannot love a person back to health. With some people, you might just have to “tuck and run.”

What do you all think?

“Bye for Now” from The Two Whos

About The Mid-Week  Symphony: Since Wednesday is hump day, we have decided to take this moment  and have a bit of down time from the writing.  Each Wednesday, we would like to bring you a symphony of ideas, a harmony of thoughts, beauty, silliness and all things that make the fullness of life.  When we started this blog we wanted it to reflect our entire personalities and interests..and that means yes…. Cece loves  the Far Side Cows and Yun loves the mumble jumble philosophical books.   Yun and Cece have many varied interests and we would like to share some of them with you each Wednesday.

                  Go Team! Go Team!

Team in Training is a wonderful program sponsored by the Leukemia Lymphoma Society.

The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society’s Team In Training ^® (TNT) program offers various endurance-sport programs to help you reach your goal. 

Participants can choose to run or walk a marathon or half marathon, swim, bike and run a triathlon, embark on a century bike ride (100 miles) or set out on a hike adventure.

To learn what events are currently being offered*, visit the individual Team In Training sport pages:

• Marathons/Half Marathons
• Triathlons
• Century Rides
• Hiking Adventures

Team in Training will change your life!  Right now, all over the country teams are forming for the summer events.  It is not too late to join.  You will form wonderful , loving,  life time friendships that will enhance you !  This is how Cece and Yun met.

Yun arrived as Cece’s mentor on the team…except that  she arrived with 2 flat bicycle tires and she was VERY late…not 3-5 minutes!  LOL!  Cece thinks we started laughing then and just have not stopped! 

Go to the Team in Training  site and check out what events are in your local area.  Sign up and then come back and tell us all about it!  Cece and Yun might be able to mentor you from afar….or if you are in Albuquerque…right up close and personal!

“Bye for Now” from The Two Whos

The Saturday Morning Rendezvous will be a place to stop in and meet up  on a weekend morning.  Have a cup of tea or coffee, a special breakfast,  and relax and catch up from the week’s fast pace.  The Two Whos will focus Saturday’s content on physical wellness and fitness of all types.  Come back and rendezvous with us!    See you next  Saturday!  Thanks for visiting.

For us  mere mortals, loving  with all our heart is not easy, letting  go of what we have loved is nearly impossible.  Lately, Cece and Yun have had several discussion on letting go, mixed with other philosophical discussions such as why chicken cross road, how dating engineering works and what is the goth counseling...  But nothing can compare to Mary Oliver’s powerful words:

To live in this world
you must be able
to do three things:
to love what is mortal;
to hold it
against your bones knowing
your own life depends on it;
and, when the time comes to let it go,
to let it go.

This must be what being truly alive  feels  like.  Live to your heart’s content by fearlessly loving what is transient (all things are transient, nothing is forever).  When the ‘love affair’ is over (everything has the beginning and the ending), let go with grace and gratitude.  Here is the full poem:

In Blackwater Woods

Look, the trees
are turning
their own bodies
into pillars

of light,
are giving off the rich
fragrance of cinnamon
and fulfillment,

the long tapers
of cattails

are bursting and floating away over
the blue shoulders of  the ponds,
and every pond,
no matter what its
name is, is

nameless now.
Every year
everything
I have ever learned

in my lifetime
leads back to this: the fires
and the black river of loss
whose other side

is salvation,
whose meaning none of us will ever know.
To live in this world

you must be able  to do three things:
to love what is mortal;
to hold it

against your bones knowing
your own life depends on it;
and, when the time comes to let it go,
to let it go.

“Bye for Now”  from The Two Whos

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About The Mid-Week  Symphony: Since Wednesday is hump day, we have decided to take this moment and bronze it and have a bit of down time from the writing.  We thought each Wednesday  we would like to bring you a symphony of ideas, a harmony of thoughts, beauty, silliness and all things that make the fullness of life.  When we started this blog we wanted it to reflect our entire personalities and interests..and that means yes…. Cece loves  the Far Side Cows and Yun loves the mumble jumble philosophical books.   Yun and Cece have many interests and we would like to share some of them with you each Wednesday.