The Two Whos

Cece works with people with disabilities.  At her administrative office,  there are also employees who have disabilities.  They do jobs varying from receptionist, to greeter to those working in secretarial,the  copy center  or  custodial  jobs.

There is a  man who always peeks into Cece’s office. He always greets her with a smile.  He is a new employee and Cece found out he is responsible for cleaning her office each day and emptying her trash.  She has noticed a change in her  trash bag.  A perfectly tied knot!  After a bit of investigation, Cece learns that this man HAS to tie this perfect knot in the bag because he believes that the garbage  bag will slip and waste will dirty the trash can.  So, he ties all these  knots in about 25 trash cans and it takes him 4 hours to do so.  He is focused, meticulous and  a perfectionist.

So, Cece begins to notice that when ever he peeks his head in to say hello, that he also glances at her clock on the wall, then checks his watch and shakes his head.  This is happening , day after day.  Finally one day, after greeting her, he asks “Want me to fix your clock when I clean tonight?”  Cece watches as he glances at his wrist watch and then at her clock shaking his head.  He adds, “Your clock is :15 minutes fast.”

Cece giggles. Yes, her clock is :15 minutes fast and she explains that she runs her clock fast so she can get to her meetings on time.  The man said, “But the time is wrong.”  She explains again the reasoning behind running her clock fast, but the man keeps telling her “But the time is wrong.”

Cece watches  over the next few days and each time she sees this man, he points to his watch and asks her if she wants him to fix the clock so it is on time. Cece does not want him to adjust the time.  Will she have to change the time so this man is not continually aggravated and stressed out…or will she somehow be able to explain this so he understands her perspective?

The funny thing is that on her door to her office, she has  a beautiful drawing of a little girl using a wheelchair.  There is a quote on it that reads:

“Time is not measured  by clocks, but by the moments we share with others.”

Yun says maybe Cece will  just enjoy the interaction with the man by repeatedly telling him: “No, I set my time faster for a reason, and I know it is the  wrong time….. but it gives us time to talk like this because I enjoy the time we share”

“Bye for Now” from The Two Whos

When you find yourself confused about what birthday present to buy for your 10 years old that is  meaningful enough to arouse some deep appreciation , you know you need to rethink the concept of “birthday presents”.

That was what Yun faced this month. Her son’s birthday was in April, and Yun was scratching her head trying to figure out what to  buy for her son.

So, she asked the birthday boy: “What do you want for your birthday?”

Patrick carelessly said: “I don’t know.”

Yun took the spy approach, asking the brother: “Gavin, do you know what Patrick really wants for his birthday?”

Gavin searched his mind, and found nothing besides: “games?”  he is not sure…

It suddenly dawns on Yun that kids these days in this country do no need anything to add to their already plentiful  life.  Toy developers can not create enough new exciting toys to keep up with the holidays and birthdays.   Yun decided that what her son needs for the birthday is new experiences and fun that do not have to come from “stuff” we buy for them.  She also wants to give something to other people like on  Christmas, when she brought a goat for an African family in the name of the kids.

On the morning of his birthday, Yun and Gavin got up earlier.  They lined the warhead sour candies on the carpet from bedroom to the kitchen, where 10 candles were lit on donuts and cheese cake.  It would be his unusual  birthday breakfast just for the fun of doing something different.  His birthday gift from mom and brother is snack pack: a tiny laser pointer for fun, his favorite chocolate bar and a pack of bubble gum to blow the biggest bubbles. (Cece says that Yun  hardly gives the kids candy or too many sweets.) Patrick’s  face lit up: “the best birthday, ever….”

Yun has brought small gift bags and brownie cup cakes for every kids in Patrick’s class. Let everyone have a  little of something as his birthday celebration.   The whole class sang the birthday song twice, and everyone wished him Happy Birthday.  The most repeated wish was : “Patrick, I wish you have everything you want.”

Not sure if these kids know that most of them already have everything they need:  food, shelter, numerous toys, clean air, fresh water…  The excitement and fun they desire must be created not by having more stuff, but by having more appreciation.  Hmmmm, tell that to the kids….  may not go over as well.  But at least we can try….

Well, there are a couple of boys that did wish: “Let’s have fun at paintball.”  Patrick can legally play paintball now and he did play with his dozen friends for the first time, that was part of the birthday gift.  So, Yun did spend the money beside a $5 laser pointer!   She is contemplating how to create a magic fun birthday celebration without spending  any money.  Any ideas?

Happy Birthday, Patrick!

“Bye for Now” from The Two Whos

***Remember to enter the Grab Your Bags contest! What methods do you employ to try to remember your bags?    The winner will get a free Bagnesia Kit .  The contest deadline is Friday April 2, 2010 at 10pm Mountain Time.  Please email Cece  (cecile@swcp.com)your funny story and The Two Whos will judge the funniest story.  We will notify the winner by Monday April 5,  2010.**** 

 
The rats racing on a wheel or The Rat Race”  is not just a description for people working in corporations, but for kids who are having fun. Kids can run, run run and have the best time.  So,  as long as it is fun,” the  rat race” is a very good thing , it is what life is all about at one time or another. 

 Imagine yourself going up and down a 20 yard long 60 degree hill repeatedly for 4 and 5 hours.  You carry nothing up, carry nothing down…. Just up and down, up and down…. It is an extreme work out in Yun’s eyes, especially when one goes up and slides down on sand.  This was exactly what Yun’s sons Patrick and Gavin did during one of their spring break trips… 

“Mommy, let’s go to White Sands on spring break.”   Yun’s son made the request. 

“What are you going to do there?” Yun’s asked 

“Nothing, just play and have fun.”   Typical answers of the boys.  You see this  is how kids are.  Doing things and accomplishing outcomes are never a concern,  it is all about playing wholeheartedly and having fun.  But Yun has the habit of thinking in terms of outcomes: educational trip and good exercise.  The educational part comes from the B&B they stayed in : The Inn of Art.  

The White Sands National Monument is just like the name says: White sands everywhere, miles and miles.  Besides that it feels like heaven on earth sitting there watching the sunrise or sunset, the dunes are the great extreme work out place for people, the kids especially… They tirelessly climb up the slippery  sand hills for 5 minutes, two step forwards, one step backwards, only to slide down in 5 seconds with the most exciting screaming  As if that is not an enough work out, they make it a challenge course for each other to get up the hills.  They hang on to other’s legs so they struggle together one step forward and two steps back…forget about getting up the hills in this case.

The boys play the extreme work out with the vigor of the  rat race for hours each day for two days….They are so tired that  the minute their cute heads touch the pillows, they fall  sleep.  They are exhausted!

A rat race can be productive, fun and peaceful.  It can be likened to a job search.  Many people today are struggling with the rat race of looking for a job after being laid off or downsized. Some take a time out for enrichment or child rearing  Searching for a job after a break  can seem like a rat race…spinning spinning and using so much momentum to get nowhere.  But if we can develop a mind set of this type of effort, but with the ups and down of the kids running the sand dunes, it can take the search and the ups and downs of it…from an extreme workout to child’s play! It can be productive, fun and peaceful.    Yun has made a resolution when she goes back to the corporate world, that she will adopt just this attitude!

“Bye for Now: from The Two Whos

Yun has the battle cry: “My poor kids” who have to juggle mom’s house and dad’s house….”  Cece laughs every time Yun starts “my poor kids” because in Cece’s eyes, Yun’s sons are two of the happiest, smartest and most lovely boys.  There is no slight trace of “poor kids” in these two handsome boys.

Yun’s self pity can run a stray at times when it comes to her children.  She wishes for the ideal mom and dad family back at times and feels like she is depriving her sons of this cohesive unit.  So, the “My poor kids” refrain gets stronger.

Her son’s soccer coach’s whole family of four is devoted to soccer.  For two years Yun has known this family, the father has been coaching two club level teams: one is for his 11 year old daughter’s  team and the other  is for their 9 years old son’s team.  The mother is always the team manager, fundraising, schedule planning, uniforms etc…  They are at tournaments and practices together.

Yun is awfully jealous of the whole family’s devotion to their children’s soccer adventures and well being.  They seem like the perfect family!  The girl and the boy may not be  world class athletes, but they are the top players.  Most of all, they are enjoying the sport and proud of their family’s participation.  Yun starts her repeat refrain…..My poor kids”… juggling two houses and two families, the living situation gets in their way of doing more and better sports.  Yun worries that they are suffering.   Cece laughs again….

During one of her son’s soccer practices, the 11 years old daughter and Yun started to chat.  Yun purchased a car wash ticket from her  to help her fundraising… The daughter said: “The ticket is at my mom’s house. When I get there tonight, I will put the ticket in an envelop and ask my dad to give  it to Patrick  on Thursday’s practice.”

What?  The parents are divorced?  Yun was so taken aback by what she heard that she was speechless!  The fun loving, easy flowing and devoted soccer family are mom’s house and dad’s house too?  There is no trace of hardship or unhappiness in these children no matter how ‘crazy’ the schedule of the mom’s house and dad’s house might be?   All along, Yun creates the drama of “my poor kids” because of the mom’s house and dad’s house. She wishes she had the ideal of the perfect family back.  Here is a family who seems perfect, their kids are happy…so perhaps Yun’s  attention may better shift to cultivate mom’s and dad’s capacity to co-parent the kids!

Yun burst out laughing, and tears run down her cheeks while joy twinkled  in her eyes.  She believes  love is the answer, and  this soccer family was god-like to her.  So now, they are the ultimate role model for making a dire situation into a light and  cohesive normality.  Now the family has given her incredible inspiration that the bond of a family can never be broken by circumstance if there is unconditional god-like love for the children.  The idea of  ”My poor kids” has changed into  a new phrase or mantra, “My happy and well loved  kids!”

“Bye for Now” from The Two Whos

The lovely and amazing performance poet Gabrielle Bouliane  “shouts out”  for the audience at the Austin Poetry Slam. This would be her last public performance. Spoken word poetry is not for the faint of heart.   Please buckle your seat belt….

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