A friend  phoned Yun last night.  She was having a hard time in a relationship and in  life in general as a single mother,  entrepreneur and professional woman.  As Yun listened empathetically,  she  offered some different perspectives now and then.

Her friend wanted nothing more than  an empathic listening ear, as she often offers to Yun and others.  There is  no need to solve her problem….  both she and Yun know perfectly  well how capable she is at solving  the problem at hand.

serving teaSometimes, if not most of the time, when we feel down, all we want is someone who we can  trust to listen to us…..to  our judgments, assessments, and justifications…and to listen  with some understanding and empathy.
And so Yun did this ….and after a while, the friend felt a little better.  Listening has its magic and potent power over healing and nurturing.

Unfortunately some men in our lives  just do not get this.  That leaves us women exasperated:  “I need  him  to be  empathic and understanding.”   Well, this is bad news.  It seems that many men  are not able  to handle a loved one’s emotions and  then perceive them as negative in some cases.  Many  have a  hard time facing and managing their  own emotions for whatever reasons.  Managing emotions seems  particularly difficult for women as well as for men.  It requires some personal growth in the area of emotions.

Women have a few options:

1. Seek emotional support from your girl friends.

2. Do not ask : “Does he care about me?” when he can  not handle your vibrant emotions. Of course he cares for you!  You need to understand that  he cares about you, but he does not handle you the way you want him to because you want him to handle  you the way a woman would .  He is a man.  Men handle things differently.

3.There are some  emotionally mature men out there.  Let us rejoice in them!

4. Do not try to teach him or change him.  Emotional maturity can only grow from within and through time.

If you are a man reading this, the secret is out.  To love and keep a great woman ,  listen to her need and allow her to be with her emotions and thoughts, no matter how “emotional” they might appear to you. Believe her and  love her in the midst of the emotion.  We know that women emoting can be scary for some men…but hang in there and offer support and it will help your relationship  grow and flourish!

We would like to hear general male perspectives on this.  If you are a He WHo, and would be willing to write about your experiences and help here on  this blog, please let us know.  Thanks.

Yun and Cece

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