The Two Whos

Note:  The Two Whos are taking a writing break this morning and this is a re-post of a  popular post.

Inspired by Einstein: “Make things simple not simpler.”

One day, Yun says to Cece:

” For many years, through many relationship dramas, I have come to believe a phrase I heard: “love is not enough” for a relationship.  We need compatibility in all areas: social economical, physical, emotional, mental, educational, personality, values,…  Whatever you want you can name.

We tend to organize human relationships like a engineering project with various “mechanical” parts.  It is almost like  one needs a spread sheet to track all the parts for the purpose of decision making.  No wonder relationships and love have become very complicated.  NO wonder relationship dramas are everywhere.

The most loving and truthful relationships I have experienced are with  people that are very different from me.  We mostly do not agree with one another, we often engage in heated arguments, we do not always share the same values and ideas about life.   We definitely have different styles of doing things.  But I  feel love and being loved no matter what.  Relationships in this case, are very simple!

Well, they are my families:  my sisters and my parents.  In Chinese, there is a saying: “Blood is thicker than water.” Cece says  we have this saying  too!   I think we can learn something from these natural loving and truthful relationships:

First, unconditional commitment to the relationship:  There is no distractions of the “alternatives”.  So, the focus is always on how to love  and how to make the relationship better.

Second, unconditional love: There is no criteria of “should I love them or not”, and why.  I just love them….love is just an action. Very simple, period!

Third, unconditional acceptance:  I have no demand on them to become someone different. I do not fight to change them.  Our energies  are focused on being in relationship…

What if a couple’s romantic relationship can cultivate such intrinsic quality to it? What if everyone in a  love relationship can make the “unconditional” a daily practice?  Maybe relationships will be simple and peaceful.

Do you think I am too idealistic? “   Yun asks Cece.

Cece is thinking that Yun’s  ”Happy Project” has gone off the deep edge!   What if the relationship cannot be peaceful and happy?  Perhaps you want happiness and peace, and the other wants raging drama?  Then what?  How does the “Happiness Project” handle this?   Cece works with those who are deeply troubled. Cece has seen children tortured and used..violence and much more. We can just look out our front  doors and see gang violence and blood letting .   It is hard to love in these situations. 

My intention to love and accept and forgive could be met with anger and aggression, lies and a made up reality.  My attempts at reconcilliation could be met with sarcasm and distrust.  So, how does the “Happy Project” fit in here? 

 Perhaps  loving people from afar would work…or loving the higher potential in a person will work…but sometimes love is not enough.  Sometimes you cannot love a person back to health. With some people, you might just have to “tuck and run.”

What do you all think?

“Bye for Now” from The Two Whos